4th Chemo

How’s Sheilagh?

I am tired.

The chemo is cumulative and it is harder to bounce back, but that is okay because I don’t need to bounce back right now. One thing we say a lot around the house these days is “Its just going to be like this for a while.” (it’s what my brother and I used to say when we climbed hills on our road bikes). So I’ll be tired for a while. I can do that.

I am also bald.

It didn’t take long to get used to having no hair and I kind of like it. I’ve got a nice scalp and a finely shaped head. I have been cutting my own hair for years and Sarah often helps with the finishing touches so she helped me shave it off. It was an emotional time but also very funny. Do you remember the vultures from the 70’s Disney film The Jungle Book? One of the vultures likes to bop up and down and ask the other vultures, “What do you want to do? I don’t know what do you want to do?” My kids think I am much like this vulture, always wanting to get up and do something. Years ago Madeleine changed my profile picture in her phone to this vulture. We were crying with laughter when she pulled it up – a fine likeness now in personality as well as in looks.

You can hear it now, can’t you? “What do you want to do? I don’t know what do you want to do?”

I’d like to make a prayer request.

You know how sometimes when you pray it’s actually just worrying and you end up in little ruts. I can end up doing gymnastics wondering if I’ve prayed well enough, thoroughly enough and I get all caught up in things that don’t matter. So, instead of that, what I am hoping for is that when you pray for me (I know you are praying. It’s awesome. I’m super grateful.) I’d like you to do a simple thing and that is to be hopeful. Either say the word or write it down or ring a bell or light a candle or simply turn your heart in that direction. I’d love it if this trouble resulted in more hope for the world. I know for me it is changing me in profound ways and so far as it is up to me my intention is that it will be a blessing of hope for the world.

Thank you for your prayers and love.

It is carrying me every day.

It’s just going to be like this for a while.

So keep praying and spreading hope.

Here are a couple of pictures from our trip to Awenda

It says “Go Live” I’ve got lots of living to do!

7 Replies to “4th Chemo”

  1. Dear Sheilagh,
    You are always in my prayers, and I too am very, very hopeful.
    Your spirit, your ability to share your feelings/emotions about this difficult journey is amazing.
    You are an amazing lady .
    Lynn xo

  2. After reading your latest post, I am reminded of the first stanza of a poem by Emily Dickinson.

    ” H0PE is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul
    And sings the tune without the words
    And never stops at all.”

    May we Hope Always.

  3. Sheilagh, I am just catching up on your blog and want you to know that when I see or experience those fabulous connections beyond my control They becomes a prayer. I have these throughout the day so hopefully you can count these prayers of hope and love and draw on them and everyone else’s.

  4. Love the lines from the first and second stanzas

    “HOPE is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul
    And sweetest in the Gale is heard
    And never stops at all”

  5. Dear Sheilagh,
    Following your updates and I promise to continue to keep you in my warm and positive thoughts. How could I not? You have an energy that stayed with me from the first day I met you. You may have left Trinity but you left behind some magic. 🙏☘💛

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